Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
