Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
