I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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