I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
