It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
