it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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