My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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