Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
