I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
