Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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