brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
