How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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