i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
