I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
