Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
