I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
