your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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