mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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