I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just google imaged poop.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
