We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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