so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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