sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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