when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
