She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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