She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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