Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
