$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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