I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
