Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize