i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
