is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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