4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
