I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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