Do you still have your period?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
