the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
