There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
