I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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