U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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