it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
