is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
