Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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