I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
