don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
