There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
