i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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