Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
