have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
