so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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