He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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