I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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