I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
