I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dick very happy bro
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
