O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
