is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
